What I Miss About My 20s & What I Hate About My 30s

What I Hate About My 30s:

  1. Nobody cares about you anymore because you’re no longer a collagen-filled, naïve, innocent, pure-skinned, 20-something and are therefore worthless according to society.
  2. Older women start talking to you about the menopause like you’re 47.
  3. Older women start talking to you about “the sag”.
  4. Older women start talking to you about how you’re gonna get fat now.
  5. You can tell that older woman have been waiting eagerly for you to turn 30.
  6. The only men who chat you up are 50-year-old, fat, bald builders who are either married with kids or divorced with kids.
  7. These men expect you to be extremely grateful they’re chatting you up rather than a 20yo.
  8. Men don’t treat you nicely anymore because you’re over 29 so you don’t deserve to be treated nicely. Instead of “Hey darling, how ya doing?” you get “Oi, bish, suck my D, you ungrateful slag!”
  9. You have to deal with 30yo guys who are either deadbeat dads or they are panicking because they think they’re supposed to be married with kids and “you’ll do!”. But they’d rather you were 20yo and they will punish you for not being 20yo.
  10. At 20yo, men have no expectations of you except that you be 20yo. At 30yo, they expect you to be rich, have an amazing career, cook their dinner, raise their kids, do the housework, suck their little D and generally be a 24/7 superhero for no rewards.
  11. Did I mention how nobody cares about you anymore?
  12. While you’re still kinda in the target audience for retailers, you’re not their prime 20yo audience so f*ck you. And if you go in a young women’s store, 20yos will point and laugh at you for wanting to wear the same clothes as them.
  13. Talking of clothes, there’s some ish you just can’t get away with anymore like cutesy tops with slogans on or cute animals tees.
  14. You like to think you still look 25, but trust me, 25 year olds do not agree with you.
  15. In my 20s, people were impressed by my intelligence and how mature I was for my age. Now, nobody cares because I’m just another boring adult.
  16. I have a head full of regrets and bad memories.
  17. I still feel 20.
  18.  My 50yo friends don’t make a fuss over me anymore because I’ve become just another boring adult like them. Most have dumped me, gone silent on me,  or died.
  19. My body doesn’t bounce back from things anymore.
  20. Lines on my face!!! Period.
  21. Life doesn’t seem like a fun adventure anymore.
  22. You’re never the youngest person in the room anymore.
  23. “Older” is your new adjective instead of “young.”
  24. “Woman” is your new noun instead of “girl.”
  25. Most people your age now have double-digit kids, which is just weird.
  26. 21yo girls expect you to be their agony aunt.
  27. 23yo girls except you to have sympathy for them. Pff!
  28. 25yos think you know everything because you’re 30.
  29. 28yos think you’re 5 million years older than they are.
  30. 29 year old guys call you a “cougar” and tell you they want a “mature” woman.
  31. Everyone keeps reminding you that “you’re not getting any younger!”
  32. You can no longer have a mental breakdown over some stupid sh**, you have to be strong all the damn time.
  33. Not being able to eat an entire chocolate cake or a massive bag of candy anymore.
  34. Taking a week to recover from one alcoholic drink (usually a shandy).
  35. People don’t treat me delicately anymore and I actually feel like I need that more now than in my 20s.
  36. I can never go back to being a care-free 20yo.
  37. I wish I’d worked more on my anxiety and depression because other 30yos have cool stories of all the fun they had in their 20s and I got jack cuz I mainly stayed in my room for a decade.
  38. Worrying about 40.

What I Miss About My 20s

  1. When I didn’t have a clear understanding of death and how it will hunt me and everyone I care about.
  2. Believing that the older guy actually really loved me for me and not because I was 20yo.
  3. Having stupid crushes on random guys.
  4. Feeling like life was a magical journey.
  5. Having days, weeks, months and years I could burn away on just trying new things out, playing video games, watching Star Trek marathons, or just doing bupkis.
  6. Having youthful dreams about being Somebody.
  7. How I used to find happiness in silly little things like collecting postcards or some dumb stuff like that.
  8. Believing I mattered.
  9. Feeling like I could change the world.
  10. Believing the world could change.
  11. Thinking I could do anything I wanted just by wishing really, really hard.
  12. Believing that somehow I would always be 20yo and nothing would change unless I wanted it to.
  13. Looking forward to things.
  14. Believing the people I loved would live forever.
  15. Thinking my 30s would be “When Harry Met Sally.”

 

Hit me up if any of you post a similar blog. I’m interested to know what y’all miss about being younger and hate about being older.

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