“Real Women Wear Dresses!”

Random Musings on Gender

I just saw a post on Facebook that totally wound me up…

We need to break down gender stereotypes. But that’s not really happening because feminism is a dirty word and chauvinism is back in fashion. What’s worse is women are enforcing gender roles just as much as men.

I’m not going to talk about the Facebook post. I can’t even-

I’m gonna talk about a party…

So, I go to this party and all the women (in dresses) are all…, well…, just picture a bunch of feminine women screaming and all talking at once… (I know I’m complaining about women being women. The irony is not lost on me.)

“Oh look at you!” “No look at you!” “Oh you’re so beautiful!” “No, you!” “I love your hair!” “I love yours!” “I love your earrings!” “Yours are amazing!” “I just love your dress, it’s so you!” “Omg, I love your shoes, did you get those at DaddysMoney.com?” “OMG! You’re amazing!” “No, you!” etc etc...

And then they notice me and they’re like “oh…… Hi Aliquo” cause I’m not wearing a dress and 5 gallons of make-up, therefore I’m not “beautiful”.

Which is fine. Fuck “beautiful”. I’m content being a bad-ass motherfucker. But they look at me with… idk, confusion…? Pity…? Idk. Like I’m “other”. Like I’m an alien. Like I’m somehow not quite a woman. I’m somehow… “less”.

My point is, we still have this view: real women wear dresses and make-up and are beautiful. If a woman is wearing a baseball cap and cargo pants then she’s not beautiful and not a real woman.

We need to tear that Poster Girl perspective off the wall.

Before some dick comes and puts words in my mouth, I’m not saying women shouldn’t value that shit if they want to. I know women who want to do hair and makeup and dresses and be extra-feminine. That’s fine, that’s their thing. But equally, I, and other non-dress wearing women, shouldn’t be made to feel like we’re “less woman” just cause we don’t have a breeze blowing up our coochies.

The number of times I get asked (by women!) if I’m a lesbian… Da Fuq!? Cause I’m wearing trousers?! Da actual fuq!?

Just for fun here’s other gender-role shit girls say to me:
1. “Oh you don’t have a boyfriend. Don’t worry! You’ll find someone!” (Excuse me for having standards…)
2. “It’s not good to be too independent you know!” (Actually, it’s not good to be too DE-pendent)
3. Me: “I wanna own my own home someday” Other woman (genuine confusion): “Why? Just find a rich guy and move in with him, duh!”
4. “Ew, I’d hate to be in my 30s like you cuz no man wants a woman in her 30s!!! I’m gonna make sure I’m pregnant and married by 29!”

Bonus round – gender-role shit guys say to me:
(Picture some guy who looks like Mr. T from the A-Team)
1. {on a date} Mr. T (in very serious tone): “Do you cook?”
Me: “No.”
Mr. T: “Well, you’ll have to learn!”

2. {same date} Mr. T: “Behind every great man is a woman… who knows that she is right where she belongs!”

3. {same date} Mr. T: “What do you need achievements for? Achievements are for men!”