I Have White Privilege: And This is My Checklist

I have white privilege. My white privilege is something I’ve accepted for a while but I was reminded of it today when I read about a pregnant woman who was shot by the law enforcement agents she trusted to protect her and thought I’d discuss some of the things I notice that benefit me in my white little world. I hate the inequality of one group of people getting treated better than another, but that is sadly how the world currently operates. How we can stop that?! I wish I knew… But the first step to solving a problem is accepting you have one. So, here’s my white privilege checklist:

  1. I don’t have to fear that my color will get me killed.
  2. I don’t fear cops
  3. If I call the police about a burglar in my home, I know they’re not gonna turn up and think I’m the burglar.
  4. I especially don’t fear being killed by a cop. Why would a cop kill me? Pff!
  5. A white person can murder a whole bunch of people and the police try to avoid shooting them.
  6. We whites can sue everyone for everything because we’re white.
  7. I don’t fear security officers.
  8. I don’t fear store owners.
  9. If I am walking home and think someone is following me, I can ask anyone for help, and they will probably do so.
  10. I know that justice is always on my side. And if it’s not, I can sue everyone.
  11. I know I can always find fair representation in any situation.
  12. I’m not likely to ever go to jail for a crime I did not commit.
  13. If I committed a small crime, I know I’d probably do community service for a short time whereas a black person would serve 10-20 years.
  14. What I say is considered more reliable than the words of someone of colour.
  15. I can be an asshole and people won’t say it’s because of the color of my skin.
  16. A white celebrity is a celebrity; a black celebrity is a black celebrity.
  17. I’m not expected to be grateful all the damn time.
  18. I’m not expected to say “thank you” to someone for not treating me like shit.
  19. I can easily get a loan. From a bank.
  20. People don’t assume I’m good at basketball.
  21. I can eat chicken every day; no-one is gonna say anything.
  22. People don’t stereotype the food I eat, my hair, nor the clothes I wear.
  23. People don’t fetishize the color of my skin and make assumptions about me based on it.
  24. I don’t have to change my name to get a job interview.
  25. If I get turned down for a job interview, I know it was because I suck at job interviews, not because of the color of my skin.
  26. People don’t assume the worst about me because of my race.
  27. People don’t ask me: “What do ‘your people’ think?”
  28. By default, band-aids are in my skin color.
  29. If I could afford an expensive car, I could drive it without people thinking I stole it.
  30. If I could afford a mansion, I could live in it without people thinking I’m a drug lordess.
  31. I’m allowed to have an opinion.
  32. I’m allowed to be angry.
  33. I can choose to ignore my race or not; speak about it or not. I’m not constantly reminded of my color. I’m not forced to be a spokesperson for my race all the time.
  34. My race is the default race. If I search on Google Images for: “man”, “woman”, “girl”, “boy”, “family”, “mail man”, “clerk”, or any other image of a person, I see images of my own race. By contrast, if I search: “black woman”, it asks if I want to refine by stereotypes like “angry” or “attitude”, or sexual definitions like “thick” and “voluptuous”.
  35. As a kid, I was told I could be anything I wanted to be and I knew it was true because…
  36. My race is represented EVERYWHERE – to the point where even white people end up sick of seeing white people!
    White people in politics.
    White people on TV.
    White people reading the white news.
    Giving me the white weather.
    White people on the chat shows.
    White people in the movies.
    White history documentaries.
    White people policing the streets.
    White people putting out the fires.
    White mayors and leaders.
    White doctors and white nurses.
    White people singing on the radio.
    White people dancing on the stage.
    White bank clerks giving me my white bank loan with a white smile.
    White people teaching me in school.
    From books by white authors.
    Who are written based on research conducted by white researchers.
    White people in the magazines.
    White fashions, white hair, white make-up.
    White people at the conference.
    White people DJing in the club.
    White stewardesses serving me white food on the big white plane!
    White people in my Twitter feed.
    White people in my YouTube feed.
    White people on WordPress.

And so on and so forth, ad nauseam, ad infinitum…

That Grammarly Advert Is Anoying

Oops, I meant That Grammarly Advert Is Annoying. You know the one I mean, right? What do you mean, they’re all annoying? Ok, you’re right! But this one, especially so!

Backstory: Ok, so, sometimes I’m on YouTube and because YouTube is owned by Satan, they force me to watch these evil advertisements. And despite turning personalized ads off 17 hundred times I still get personalized ads, right? Because: Pfff! So anyway, I get all kinds of crap about… well… Grammarly.

So I keep seeing this ad, right? Follow along now…. while it’s still available…. don’t wanna miss out on the fuuuuun….

Ok, so here’s this lil white hipster with perfect teeth and a rich dad. And she’s like 12 years old, lives in a $1 million apartment and has the whitest name Grammarly could think of: “Lily”. What even-? She’s the new Social Media Manager :slow-fucking-clap: Not the new intern, ok? The new manager. Stay with me. So, there she is at the computer…, “managing”, if we dare call it that :raised eyebrow:

[Scene 1, Act 1]
Lily: La-de-da, type-e-type-e-whitey…

Stereotypically hunky male co-worker with deep husky voice: “Oh no, look, Lily-Wily (can I call you Lily-Wily?), our servers are down! By the way, my name’s Todd, maybe we can go for vanilla milkshakes later at the White Cafe, you know the place, with the white tables and chairs… they serve rice and cauliflower and…. stuff…?” :smouldering look:

Lily’s like: “Sure… but, oh no! The servers are down! How will I cope with the biggest challenge of my life… responding to Twitter comments. Not just any Twitter comments! Twitter comments with angry emojis in them!”

:gasp: The struggle is real.

All she’s doing is responding to twitter comments? She’s a manager and that’s her job?

Is that even a job? Are you srrious? Oops, I mean, serious. (Thank you Grammarly for saving my life :big fake slow-motion smile complete with hair swish:). People get paid to respond to Twitter comments? If she’s the Social Media Manager then what does the Social Media Assistant do? Insert emojis…? Turn the computer on and off again…? Staple shit…?

And “Lily”, by the way, is in an office that doesn’t look like it hires managers on the cheap. I mean, have you seen the expensive furniture and the exotic plants! So…, I can only conclude: she’s on a six-figure salary. To respond to Twitter comments. Okay, whatever! Obviously, long ago (when Grammarly was created), I slipped into some sort of alternate dimension where everything is fucked up.

Ok, now, Grammarly is a load of bullshit because… a, b, c – where do I even begin! Does Grammarly and the people who buy Grammarly not know that most computers have like an automatic spell-checker thingy? I don’t know where it is or exactly who is controlling it… :looks under and behind computer: all I know is when I type stuff on the internet it automatically highlights spelling errors for me like an invisible lil buddy. Aww! Some of my devices even auto-correct. That’s why the term “auto-correct” exists because that is an actual thing that exists… And I’m going to assume most people have this or some other free alternative to Grammarly, because: common sense. And I didn’t have to pay rich white people for it (grammar, nor common sense).

Ok, next thing is, watch the ad closely…. closely… Lily is spending like HALF AN HOUR correcting the FIVE MILLION typos she made. It’s a 4-step process: she has to direct her mouse to the typo, right click, find the correct word (does she even know…? Shhh, don’t distract her, she’s concentrating very very hard…) then click the correct word and “Yay!” she applauds herself for being so goshdarn smart! But she has to do this for every single typo she has and…

Ok, this is the next part that gets me: she made tons of typos in a 160-character comment! Not just one comment either, every.single.comment she wrote! How the hell did she get that job in the first place if her grammar is that bad?

Ok, I’m done. Time for my weekly mental breakdown.

Footnotes:
*I know how to grammar, don’t start with me.
**Some aspects of Grammarly are free but I still think it’s a load of pointless crap, that’s my opinion.
***I’m white and even I get annoyed by how white, white people are! Gotta put my shades on sometimes for I am blinded by the white!

Scam: Save Our Oceans

They want you to buy their Krole and Sons Vintage Traveller’s Watches!

Hey guys. I’ve been away for a while because: my workload is greater than the number of hours in a day. But nothing spurs me on for a blog post quite like assholes on the internet. So I’m back for one day only…

So I’m browzing through Facebook posts this morning and you know these annoying spammy ads they have? Well, I see this one: FREE GIVEAWAY!!! 5000 Krole and Sons Vintage Traveller’s Watches. RRP $79.99!! FREE! ENDS MIDNIGHT! QUICK! BUY BUY BUY!

And the watch looks so nice and exensive and unique. And it’s by a company called Save Our Oceans. They sound so trustworthy and reputable, right? They sound so giving and caring and generous, they want to save our oceans, they want to resuscitate turtles, we must support their cause! And it’s Krole and Sons, that sounds so legit, right? Like some expensive, vintage, family run company that really cares about you, not just your purse.

Anyway…, ok fine, I’m a sucker, I fell for it. Initially! (It said “free!”)

I’m thinking this “giveaway” musta gone already cause they have 5000 available and there’s 1.7k likes so F me, I always miss out on everything! But I click it, right? And hell, it’s still available! Right there, I’m like, “Hmmmmm….., is this a scam?” cause I never catch a break… Buy it’s still saying free so I don’t care! I go through the checkout and it’s like “you have 10 minutes to checkout” so of course I’m thinking, gotta get this, gotta get this, gotta get this. Hurry, hurry! Buy buy buy! But then it says $10.99 for shipping. Hmmm…. but…. the watch is RRP $79.99 so this is still a bargain, right?

But then I think, “Wait a minute…” The 8 minutes I had remaining on checkout gave me enough time to Google this and sure enough it’s a big fat scam. False advertising? Nah, c’mon, that’s too polite. It’s a big fat scam run by big fat crooked con artists who do not give a sh*t about resuscitating turtles! They just want your money! And they want it by MIDNIGHT!

The exact same item is available all over the internet for an average price of 1 dollar. Here’s an example on ebay.com for $1.27 with free p&p. It’s exactly the same item.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fashion-Men-Women-Watch-Global-Travel-By-Plane-Map-Denim-Fabric-Wrist-Watches-/182350625241?var=&hash=item2a74f1b9d9:m:m1FE8f6wBD63jvlYtzNYD1Q

Save Our Oceans’ Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Save-Our-Oceans-1720412714898164/) is dedicated not to saving our oceans but to selling cheap costume jewellery at extortionate prices. Take a look yourself and you’ll see constant “giveaways” and “special offers” which claim to be short term but which repeat every few days and no-one seems to notice :twilight zone music:

What can be done about this? Absolutely nothing! We live in a society that favors con artists and punishes people who have a problem with that.

I called them out on their Facebook page as scammy assholes. I even got a message back…, it read:
“Hi Aliquo, This is Ruth from the Save Our Oceans team. Thanks very much for your interest in our Kröle & Sons Vintage Traveler’s Watch. 🙂 I just wanted to send you a quick note to let you know that this is probably the last day we’re giving them out. Here’s the link to get one if you’re still interested! —> https://goo.gl/N0QorU. Yours, Ruth. Customer Service Manager”.
So obviously they didn’t read my message. Also I imagine they delete any negative comments they get. I didn’t scroll through all 1.3k comments but from the 30 or so I looked at none directly called them out. The closest I saw was: “this sounds too good to be true…”

I reported the page: I don’t know if Facebook actually takes any action from someone reporting a page because they don’t tell you when you click that button. They offer: “to resolve this you can block or hide their posts“. Well I don’t want to do that, I want them to be reported so they stop scamming people.

This is their website: saveouroceansnow.com where you can find many more items at extortionate prices which are available on ebay for 99c + free p&p. They also do “giveaways” and “special offers” there: get it now! Quick quick! Offer ends midnight! Last one! Quick quick! Buying over-priced costume jewellery saves turtles! Buy buy buy! Only $10.99 for shipping and handling!

“Are you passionate about our oceans? So are we!” Awwwww… so fake! Bye bye bye!

 

Looking Forward II: Elvis Week 2017

Ok, so I’m really pumped that I actually get to go to Elvis Week this year! :jumps up and down like a kid: Every August they put on this cool week of events at Graceland in honor of Elvis Presley. This year is the 40th anniversary of his death back in 1977 – wow, time flies! I wanted to go for the 30th anniversary but… life got in the way! So this one I can’t miss! I’m kinda clueless though cause I’ve never been before…

I was talking to some other fans (veterans!) and they were all like:

:southern drawl:

……..”Which hotel are you staying at?” ……..

………”What are you doing after the candlelit vigil?”……..

…………”Don’t forget your bug spray!”………..

I was like, errrrmmmmergerd! I am so unprepared! I was just gonna show up, y’know. I hadn’t thought about all this stuff. I hadn’t even booked my hotel… and they were like:

“You know it’s Elvis Week right…? You think you can get a hotel at the last minute!?”

And sure enough, I looked and there’s nowhere near Graceland available under $400 – well, except for The Lone Pine Motel or some sh*t like that – sounds great, right? It has a rating of zero stars but comes highly recommended by hookers and druggies, so that’s where I’m gonna be staying for Elvis Week! Ermergerd!!! Well, I ain’t paying $400! I still have so much to arrange though… Like, I don’t even know what happens…. Do I have to get tickets??….. Does it cost to go in?…. Do I have to book stuff?… Do I get to meet Elvis?…. Idk! I’m gonna have to seek more advice from the veterans. This is fun though, I can’t wait to go and meet all these cool people!

Accepting Defeat (drawing challenge)

(*That’s the state of my pencil after this week!) Well, on my side of the world, there’s like 2 hours left of the #OneWeek100People2017 challenge to draw 100 people in 5 days and – eh – I give up! Actually, I gave up on Thursday after number 65 just looked like a scribble. I only got 10 people drawn on Wednesday so on Thursday I thought, gee, I gotta do 30 people! I was about 10 in and realized that far from improving my drawing, I was actually getting considerably worse.

I’m not at the skill level where I can accurately draw a person in 5 minutes, I’m still learning proportions and stuff so… I give up! I’m done! I’m handing in my glove! (Or is that pencil…?) Drawing more does not automatically mean drawing better. I don’t know the methodology of drawing people so…. I think I need to learn more about actual techniques before I can improve.

It has been an interesting experience though and I’ve enjoyed seeing other (better) people’s work this week and getting to chat and connect with some cool artists. Well done to those of you who have stuck with the challenge. I think I’m gonna put my pencils away for a while since I have a lot of teaching work to do over the next few weeks and need to catch up with my other interests: Python coding and writing.

Hope y’all have a great weekend!

Day 3 #OneWeek100People

Ok, so I drew Prince (The Artist) today. Enjoy laughing at how girlie and French I made him. Oh lord, good job he can’t see this, he’d die all over again!

I’ve done 10 drawings so far today for #OneWeek100People2017, having to do many rough sketches to get the number count up! But I can have fun perfecting them later, especially since I’ve ordered some new pens this week! Gotta love new art supplies, right? But I am kinda tired of drawing faces now, looking forward to going back to furniture and sh*t.

Highlights…

#42: Prince… or some French guy/girl/thing…

42

 

#41: Hawaii girl. My last one on lined paper because lined paper is annoying.

41

 

Day 2 #OneWeek100People

Yay! I’ve somehow managed to keep up with this and have now drawn 40 people – if I count the several basic outlines I have… shhh! Don’t spoil it for me.

I’ve had a really difficult two days with all kinds of crap happening in my personal life so this has been a form of intense but enjoyable escapism. I’ve loved doing the drawings (much more than I enjoy other stuff I have to do each day) even if I suck right now.

It’s funny how when you draw people you notice things about them – like the emotion in their eyes, or, wow, Audrey Hepburn was real angular! And women of the 60s are – hands down – the most beautiful women in history (even if they look like tellytubbies when I try to draw them… oops!).

I don’t think I’m improving yet. I think I need to look at other (better) people’s work and actually learn some specific face-drawing-techniques. In particular, I want to figure out how to draw lips and noses.

Anyway, here’s some of my better work from the last 2 days:

#1: I spent way too long on my first drawing…

000001

#3 & #18-20: Lol, I just had to get Michael Jackson in there…

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30-31: A friend of mine and her partner ^_^. You see how I cheat so I don’t have to draw lips…?

30-31

That’s it for today. Later dudes!

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